Rants · Reviews

Winnie the Pooh Sucks.

Yes, I just said that, no, I’m not sorry. Sorry.

I guess I should say sorry a lot actually:

  • Sorry for not posting in over two months.
  • Sorry for still not having finished Cryptonomicon (in my defense: it is a very long book).
  • Sorry for not reviewing any of the other books I read recently (I’m a bad book blogger, I know).

Ok, enough now. As you may have guessed from the title, I’m still not going to review any books today. Instead I want to briefly vent about the 1977 Disney film The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. This is probably the point at which you wonder why a grown woman like myself would even watch a film that is clearly targeted at preschoolers. See, a while ago my fiancé and I (yes, I recently got engaged, and yes, I chose this rather weird context to bring this to your attention) decided to start watching Disney films chronologically, starting with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The last film from the series we watched was Robin Hood (which was cute), and we both weren’t too excited about the next film on the list: The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. However, if you know me, you’ll know that I have a hard time skipping items on lists, so of course I insisted that we watch The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

And boy oh boy was it horrible. It’s not so much that I expected to be entertained – I didn’t. Although I have to admit that I was definitely amused at times – whether that was really due to the film or rather to the wine I had while watching it is a different question altogether. As a Winnie the Pooh virgin (I knew he existed and that he sells a lot of merchandise, but I’d never watched any of the films / TV series or read any of the stories when I was little), I expected to watch a somewhat cute, but slightly boring children’s film. I did not expect a film that would annoy me as much as this one did.

So without further ado, here are three reasons for why I’d be reluctant to show this film to a young child:

1. It teaches children that it’s safe to swallow bees because you can just spit them back out and they won’t sting the inside of your mouth and cause you to suffocate / have an allergic reaction.

…seriously: this shit is dangerous!

2. This entire scene.

In this scene we learn that

  • eating too much lunch can cause you to get so fat that you won’t fit through the door any longer.
  • if that happens all you can do is wait until you get thin again, which according to Eeyore, the donkey (by far my favourite character in this film btw) may take “days, weeks or even months”, during which time the following rule applies:

Don't feed the bear.PNG

  • And to add to it all, Pooh’s behaviour in this entire scene is just extremely rude!

…I don’t know about you, but none of this sounds like concepts I’d be eager to teach my children.

3. Did you notice how it seems like everything in this film is misspelled? Look at the screen captures above and marvel at the spelling of ‘house’ and ‘honey’. Why would you have spelling like this in a film targeted at children who will probably not even get the ‘joke’ – if this is indeed supposed to be funny. Given that most of the children watching this probably know very little, if anything about spelling, I don’t see the point of presenting them with spelling mistakes that can only impact them negatively, because the fact that they may not have an active knowledge of spelling yet doesn’t mean they won’t absorb this faulty information anyway – children are sponges!

Now that you know I’ve not fallen off the face of this earth – I just dug a little hole to hide in for a while 😉 -, let me assure you that I’ll be back with that review I promised to write. Just…maybe not tomorrow, sorry. I’m also trying to figure out a way to review all of the other books I recently read – maybe I’ll publish some recaps with short reviews of some of those books, or…I’m not sure yet. I’ll let you know once I’ve figured it out. (Of course I’m also open to and thankful for any and all ideas concerning this issue, should you have them!)

Let me know:

What was the best film you watched recently? …and the worst? 


3 thoughts on “Winnie the Pooh Sucks.

  1. The reason Winnie the Pooh clicks for a lot of people is because it’s an accurate representation of childhood innocence. It’s presented like something for preschoolers when in reality, it’s more like something like My Neighbor Totoro, something that you can definitely show kids but is down-to-Earth to the point where I’d say it’s more for adults trying to relive their childhoods. It’s a story that’s less plot-driven and more of a slice-of-life story simply telling the lives of these characters. You’re not really supposed to learn anything from it. (Though later films do contain actual life lessons) You’re supposed to be charmed/entertained. It’s one of those rare franchises where the stupidity of the characters is more charming than it is annoying.
    I’d recommend checking out these two reviews to get more of an idea:


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